July 10, 2006 - Difficult Times

Yesterday Silas was acting strangely and ran a bit of a fever. Under normal circumstances, I would have said, “Oh poor baby,” and comforted him through this time while his body fought off whatever infection it was. But these have been anything but normal circumstances. My dilemma was that if I took him to the ER, they were guaranteed to poke him with needles and Silas would have yet another traumatic experience in his life, not to mention exposing him to all those “sick germs” as my other children call them. On the other hand, I had nightmarish visions of yeast sepsis and e-coli pneumonia dancing in my memory. I turned to my husband for the final decision and he said we should wait and see if the fever gets higher or not. Within the hour Silas was no longer warm. I am so grateful I do not have the full weight of these decisions on my own shoulders but instead am protected by the strong arms of my husband. I can rest in the assurance that he will take care of us . . . Of me. I can’t even begin to imagine how much more difficult this whole ordeal would have been if I’d have had to go through it alone. I love you Babe.

In addition, my brother Caleb, Luke’s daddy (pictures posted previously), totaled his motorbike on the freeway when his front tire blew while trying to pass a semi truck. He managed to maintain control for a short period of time then was flipped off. A car accident ensured with cars behind him as they desperately tried to avoid running over his body as he scrambled to get himself off of the freeway. He remarkably doesn’t have a single broken bone but he did tear a chunk out of his right hand where the ER doctors could see his tendon. An injection of painkillers, some aggressive scrubbing of wounds, and a few stitches later, Caleb was taken home. He is now in a great deal of pain and not able to start his new job on Tuesday. Pray for Caleb and his wife, Lisa, who is grateful to not be a widow, as they navigate around this injury. And pray that Caleb’s pain will be eased and he will be able to go back to work just as quickly as possible.

Now for the hardest news; baby Judah is at the end of medical intervention. The doctors have told the family that they are not expecting him to make it. He needs a God-given miracle. Lord, please have mercy. Please don’t let any more babies die. I know this is an unreasonable request, but my entire soul screams “Noooooooooo!” It feels so horribly wrong when these cherished children take their last breaths and their loved ones watch them slip away to a place they cannot be followed. I know you take care of each one of these infants and that it breaks Your Father’s heart to watch the pain of the families left behind. It just seems so unfair that these families go home with crushed dreams, broken hearts and empty arms. I cry out to You for Judah’s life, Lord. You watched Your own son beaten and crucified. I know You understand the anguish Matt and Rachel are going through right now and that so many other dear friends I’ve made have already gone through. Please make Judah an exception to the statistics. Let his life be a testimony to You. Please let him go home with his family. Jesus, I trust You in all things. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

With a hopeful heart,
~Tanaya~